I was speaking with some of the smartest people I know — camp counselors– about advice they would offer you after having gotten to know you these past few weeks. They came up with a good one.
Almost every little girl has that day..usually sometime around 2nd grade..where they come home feeling as if they have not a friend in the world. I’m not sure if it happens to boys–but having worked with girls I KNOW it does happen to them. When that day comes, please know that you DO indeed have friends. That the friends you have in second grade are going to be different than the ones you have later in life (Even if they are the same people, they will change in personality over time). That when your friends seem to have abandoned you, that you have a family that always has your back.
They also want you to realize that a friend is more than someone who likes all the same things you do, who agrees with whatever you say, and who you never argue with. A friend is someone who you can bounce ideas off of, whose shoulder you can cry on, who you CAN argue with but accepts your differences and loves you anyways. A friend is someone who will tell you if your make up causes you to look like a clown more than a person (but isn’t too embarrassed to be seen with you either way). A friend doesn’t need conversation to feel comfortable and a friend is something you will always have if you just know where to look.
Right now you are lil miss independent. You like friends but if you have to go it alone at something you are fine with that. You play by your own rules. When that day in second grade comes, and I hug you and my heart breaks a little as I feel your lonely ache–I promise to remind you of how awesome you are, to encourage your independence, to not hate the girl (or boy) who made you cry –especially when you are “best friends” again the next day, and I promise to be a good first example of real friendship and rest peacefully in the confidence that one day you will realize that even in your loneliest moments you had friends in the wing. You just had to be willing to look.